CGI... friend or foe

by Alex Zavala

(@alekdome)

I'm sorry I haven't written in the past few weeks, I've been working on something so awesome it is taking up most of my time... but more on that later.

Back in the ninties Computer Generated Images were groundbreaking and incredibly expensive... today, they are a cheap commodity that studios and some filmmakers over use, caring little about the fact that their movies look like video games.

When done right, audiences will think its is now possible to put on screen absolutely anything our minds can imagine. When done wrong, which is unfortunately very common, the audience will just be like: how cool would this be if it actually looked real?

There's two clear examples that come to mind when thinking about the good and bad uses of CGI:

GOOD: "Jurassic Park"

Along with "Terminator 2" this movie practically made CGI what it is today. But it did it with style. It was the carefully crafted blend between animation and practical effects that makes those dinosaurs still look real and terrifying 22 years later. They actually look WAY more real than the ones we see in the "Jurassic World" trailers. Haven't seen that movie yet, but if it looks like that, with EVERYTHING done in a computer, well.... poor Stan Winston, he must be rolling in his grave.

BAD: "STAR WARS" (prequel trilogy)

Especially on "Revenge of the Sith" George Lucas became a CGI freak, to the point of even making the chairs on a stupid computer. This movies were supposed to come with the technological innovations to be able to tell the beginning of the story... instead, it looks more fake than anything on the original movies... which are over twenty years older. Heck they even  changed entirely the way Yoda looks from one movie to the next. The good news is that by the looks of it, J.J. Abrams seems to have a much better grasp of how to do things right... so later this year "Star Wars" might finally get a worthy looking follow up.

For the high profile film makers that just don't get it... the lesson here is that CGI is only a TOOL to portray what you have envisioned. Anything that can actually be caught on camera, should.

The magic of trailers has died...

by Alex Zavala
(@alekdome)

Yesterday was an exciting day for movie trailers. In the morning the second trailer for 'Star Wars The Force Awakens' came out, and it went viral faster than Ebola could ever dream of...

Later, at night, the first trailer for 'Batman v Superman',  that was supposed to premiere next Monday, inevitably "leaked". And I use the quotes, because come on... for all we know Zack Snyder leaked it himself... The fact that all trailers come out on the Internet first might sound like problem..... but it's not to the studios... Every time a trailer plays at the movie theatre, it costs money... so I'm assuming they are more than happy to have people watch it a million times on You Tube and advertise their movie for free.

As a movie fan, and as a Batman fan... there is no way to avoid this kind of temptation..... In the world of today, you know exactly when a trailer is going to be available, and you can watch it instantly, wherever you are. To me, this SUCKS!!!

I remember vividly this one time I went to the movies when I was about 10 years old, and the LucasFilm logo came up on screen... I was like hey!, that's the guy who did 'Star Wars'. Seconds later there were spaceships flying around, lightsabers buzzing, and stupid Jar Jar Binks being the annoying mistake he always was. That's right, there was a new 'Star Wars' movie coming out, and I knew nothing about it... and it was exciting!!

That kind of experience, nowadays, exists only in my mind (like Jack in Rose's). Because today, you know what movies are coming out 3 years in advance, and you watch the trailer online and knowingly.

 I have seen the 'Jurassic World' trailers a million times by now... and not once in theatres. The same thing happened with 'The Dark Knight Rises' when it was a bout to come out. There were like 4 trailers that I kept watching online and, at least in my third world country, in theatres they were still only playing the 30 second teaser that shows you nothing and that came out a year before.

The only trailers they play at the theatre now, are the crappy ones that would never go viral. How boring.

The maximum STUPIDITY and SHAMELESS marketing tactic is something that started a couple of years ago.... the infamous trailer's trailer. Since the studio knows you're going to watch it online, and they are happy that you are, a few days early they give you some crap like this:

Two seconds of footage followed by a: "watch the full trailer this Friday!"

How ridiculous is that!!!????

Anyway... I am going to keep on watching trailers online, first: because I'm only human, and second: because only the teasers make their way to Mexico lately. But I just wanted to blow some steam... and to those cinema experience ruiners out there, stay tuned, because soon I'll be ranting about watching new movies online.

'nough said...

This year in film...

by Alex Zavala
(@alekdome)

Like anything in life, movies have good and bad years. Some are packed with awesome blockbusters and classics, others like 2007 SUCK with terrible "Spider-Man" and "Fantastic 4" sequels and a really bad "Transformers" movie (no matter what anyone says, the "Transformers" movies are awful).

Well, 2015 looks like it's going to be awesome!!!!

There was kind of a slow start with a "50 Shades of Grey" blockbuster that was bound to be terrible... and it was... and I didn't even see it. Then there was "Insurgent" which was exactly like "Divergent" which was exactly like "The Hunger Games"but not that cool.

But it's April now... and the first exciting movie of 2015 is around the corner..... no, it´s not "Furious 7" (that will surely be worse than "Transformers"), I'm talking about "Avengers: Age of Ultron".... These Avengers movies are just really cool... and Hulk is awesome.

By the time the "Avengers" run is over.. it will be summer, and with that comes one of the most anticipated movies of the last 14 years........ "Jurassic World" (I already did a post on this movie so check it out). Let me be clear, "Jurassic Park" is an absolute classic..... "The Lost World" is a fun movie.... "Jurassic Park 3" is quite bad....... so there's no real reason why this movie should be good.... but it's still really exciting to re-visit Isla Nublar. As I have said before, just please don't make the velociraptors be our friends (fuck; there´s a good chance that's what's going to happen).

Then there's "Terminator Genisys.... will it be good?.... maybe not....... will something actually happen?, as in, will we see John Connor end the war, instead of a robot going back in time once again... maybe not... But if there is one role (and I mean only one) that Schwarzenegger can play, it´s a big robot that can't speak good english. So I'm in.

To have a M:I movie on the same year as a 007 movie, is a pretty rare, but spectacular thing.
Except for the occasional 'mask parade' ("M:I 2") or huge death ray coming from space ("Die another Day"), these are two franchises that almost never disappoint, and I'm definitely excited about "Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation" and "Spectre".

The "Fantastic Four" reboot looks like it's gonna be good........ and I'm excited about "Mocking Jay Part 2".... that is, excited to see how it ends... because this recent practice of breaking movies in 2 is disgustingly annoying................ thanks Harry Potter.


All that awesomeness could make for a very good year, but, what really makes 2015 a special one, is the fact that "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" is coming out in december!!  Forget about having J.J. Abrams as the director (which is great), and forget about Luke, Leia and Han coming back....... just use 95% less CGI than George Lucas used on the prequel trilogy (you can use and immense amount of CGI and still not reach 5% of what he used) and I'll be satisfied.

The 10 WORST Superhero Movies

by Alex Zavala
(@alekdome)

In the past couple of decades Super hero films have become almost a separate genre. Studios are even scraping every last corner of the Marvel and DC universes looking for characters that haven't been shown on the big screen. And well, when that stops working, there can never be too many Spider-Man reboots apparently.

While a lot of comic book flicks are done incredibly well these days, just like in any other genre, there have to be bad ones, and I mean, REALLY bad ones.

We have been provided with an endless list of upcoming Marvel and DC titles up until like 2019 or 2020... so before those come, lets have a look at the 10 WORST super hero movies of all time (that I've seen).

10. X-Men: The Last Stand

Brett Ratner really screwed over two great X-Men movies back in 2006. From Cyclops and Xavier exploding, to a very crappy reference to Sentinels. This awfulness was only fixed with Bryan Singer taking back the director's chair in "Days of Future Past" and crafting a plot complicated enough to correct mistakes, and simple enough to just ignore some others.

9. Spider Man 3

So what is it with third parts anyways?... This movie had so much potential, with Venom finally coming into the mix..... and was massively doomed the minute they cast Topher Grace for the part. But don't worry 'Foreman'... The worst thing in the movie isn't you... it's that emo Peter Parker dance.

8. Captain America

Unlike its sequel and The Avengers, this movie is plain and simple boooringggg.... I think I've fallen asleep every time I have attempted to watch it.

7. Superman

The original, the Richard Donner one. I know a lot of people criticize "Superman Returns", and sure, it's quite bad... but what can anyone expect if it is supposed to be a sequel of the sequel of a movie where Superman flies around the planet to make it spin the other way and turn back time...... WTF.

6. Hulk

Lets not confuse it with "The incredible Hulk" which is awesome....no... I'm talking about the one from 2003 with the giant dogs and the Hulk that looks like he's made of Play Doh.... enough said.

5. The Wolverine

How many Wolverine prequels do we need?... This last one is awful. Sure, I really kind of hate samurai and japanese movies, but really... it's awful! The only good scene is the one leading up to "Days of Future Past"... and even that doesn't make that much sense.

4. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

I'll put it this way... once I heard the title for this movie I decided not to even bother watching it. Then I saw it once on TV, and didn't even finish it..... this is coming from the guy who sat through the last 4 seasons of "Two and a Half Men" because he can't start something and not finish it.

3. Power Rangers: The Movie

I guess it's not really a comic book, but they are super heroes, aren't they?.... I got to admit I loved this movie when I was a kid.... but looking back on it... everything about the Power Rangers except for the giant robot SUCKED.

2. Daredevil

I am one of the few that think Ben Affleck might actually make a not too terrible Batman, but if all the haters are based on "Daredevil", then I really have no way to argue with them. 

1. Batman & Robin

From convenient ice skates coming out of shoes, to the Bat-Card, to George Clooney's worst performance ever, to Bane looking like a balloon, to Schwarzennegger's freezing tear, to diamonds somehow becoming ice, to Batgirl being Alfred's niece, to the goofy scientists in the final scene to the absolutely CRAPTASTIC special effects........ this is the mother of all disgraces.

Two and a half years late.. make that four.

by Alex Zavala
(@alekdome)

SPOILERS AHEAD!! (not that anyone still cares about "Two and a Half Men")

A few days ago, "Two and a Half Men" FINALLY ended.

Four years ago, when Charlie Sheen went nuts and got fired from the show, the end seemed very close. Boy, how I wish it would've ended then and there. Instead it kept going and going, and with every episode it became worse and worse, to a point where it's hard to even talk about how terrible it was. A piece of advice for the future, if your star goes maniac and you are forced to change the plans..... just take it for a few more episodes, wrap the story up, give it some closure and let it die in peace.

I am one of the people who can't start a show and not finish it... let alone watch 8 seasons of it and then not know how it ends. I wish I wasn't. I spent four years watching Ashton Kutcher leave movies aside to play the WORST character of his career. Jon Cryer turn 'Alan Harper' into a gay, cheap, ridiculous character who has nothing to do with the original, and that somehow, still gets laid with a million hot girls and complains that no girl could ever like him..... 

... and Angus T. Jones grow so sick of the show, he almost went all Charlie Sheen on it.

Before I talk about the Series Finale.. let me give a quick list of stupidity that took place over the last four seasons of the show:

- Judy Greer played Walden's ex-wife even though she had already played Herb's sister before.

- Charlie had a lost daughter.... give me a break.

- Judith's baby who was Alan's baby.. never mattered again.

- Walden and Alan got married, and that was when it really hit rock bottom (on the bright side, every episode after that seemed like it wasn't so bad).

Actually, I'll give you the rest of the list after I talk about the finale.... because that was one hell of an incoherent episode.

So... There were a lot of rumors started by Charlie Sheen himself and re-inforced by the cast of the show, that he was going to make an appearance in the finale. This excited me, because even though there was no way for it to save face, at least Charlie was going to be in it. Well if you haven't seen this episode, and you are a little excited about it..... let me just burst your bubble right now.... he's not in it. 

That's right. Instead.. they spent the entire hour-long episode teasing his appearance, and even came up with a story about how he's alive that is even worse than the story of how he died. Is that possible? ... well...... Rose had him in a dungeon in her basement. I know.... hopeless.

And this is where my list continues:

- No one has the death certificate, which they need to cash in Charlie's music royalties.... but yet, they had no problem inheriting and selling the house when he "died". 

- Charlie is out for revenge!!....... on what?.. God knows, because no-one but Rose actually did anything to him in the show.

- He apologizes to Chelsea for shooting her......that never happened.

-He apologizes to Mia for sleeping with her mom, or sister or something..... that never happened either.

- Mrs. Pasternack, who had already been replaced by another actress to become a prostitute, is back to the original actress and a teacher again. 

I'll be honest, this was actually a funny episode.. right until the moment Charlie appears (just his back) and is crushed by a piano for no reason..... that's right, they barely said his name in four years, and then brought him back to live on the last episode just to kill him again?.... 

It's worth mentioning that none of the other characters got any closure. Not, Alan, or Walden, or Bertha, or Evelyn, or Herb, or Lindsay, or Jake, or Judith, or ANYONE....... just Charlie. They ended the show in a terrible effort to trash talk Charlie Sheen. And he didn't even say a word about it.... which in the end made him look like the bigger man. 

The episode ends with Chuck Lorre saying "Winning".. and then getting crushed by a piano himself. Making it clear that he didn't give a  shit about the show anymore, he just wanted to insult Charlie Sheen for the last time, and the rest of the cast by giving him all the attention.

The stage at Warner Bros. Studios where "Two and a Half Men" was shot for twelve years was re-named 'The Two and a Half Men Stage"...... which I find outrageous, considering only "Friends" had had that honor before. Obviously there is no comparison. 

Oscar predictions...

by Alex Zavala
(@alekdome)

This sunday is the 87th Academy Awards Ceremony... and while it is not as high profile as last year's, it still has potential. Let me begin by predicting Neil Patrick Harris will make an awesome host, which should be no surprise since they've gotten that right almost every year.

Other things they do get wrong..... specially when it comes to nominations. But I'm not going to go deep into it, I'm only saying three things before I go straight to my predictions:

1. "Best Director" is often given to the best movie, which is stupid, because there is an award for that already. You can make a terrible movie and still direct it wonderfully and revolutionarily. So yes, James Cameron should've won for 'Avatar'... and yes, Chris Nolan should be nominated this year, and should've won a long time ago.

2. I don't know what all the fuzz is about with Steve Carell's performance in 'Foxcatcher'. True, I never heard of John du Pont before the movie, so I don't know, maybe he does act exactly like him... but to me, the whole movie looks like he's trying super hard not to drop his fake nose, hence the stiffness and lack of expression. Again, I've never seen the real person speak, so maybe I'm wrong about this one.

3. If 'Boyhood' wins.... crap... that will be awful. Does it have it's merit to film a movie throughout 12 years?... sure. Maybe that's a "Best Director" kind of merit..... but you cannot give "Best Picture" to a film they took the time to shoot in 12 years but not to edit. Seriously, it is SO long, and absolutely NOTHING happens. Really, NOTHING.

Okay, enough said... here are my predictions for only some of the categories (I am not going to bother with "Best animated short foreign language documentary").

"ANIMATED FEATURE FILM"

And the winner is 'The Lego Movie'!!... oh wait...... it wasn't nominated...ass holes..... ehh.. I didn't see any of the actual nominees.

"MAKE-UP AND HAIRSTYLING"

Not a super major category, but... 'Guardians of the galaxy'!!... because no 'Foxcatcher', you shouldn't win an Oscar for a stupid fake nose.

"VISUAL EFFECTS"

There is no way around it... sure, they needed to have some nominees, but the Oscar goes to.. 'Dawn of the Planet of the Apes'!!.. seriously, if not, I am personally sending a chimp with a machine gun to kill the members of the Academy.

"ORIGINAL SCORE"

The winner is Hans Zimmer for 'Interstellar'!! ... if you're not giving any credit to this GREAT movie... at least honor its great music.

"ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY"

 'Birdman'!! .... which other is as amazingly creative??.......... wait....... was there an actual screenplay for Boyhood?.... I bet it was a million blank pages.

"ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE"

As sad as it makes me, I believe they're going to give it to Patricia Arquette!! for going fat and losing hair throughout twelve years.

"ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE"

One can only assume it is J.K. Simmons!! .. I haven't seen 'Whiplash' yet, but they are just giving him everything. I wish though, they would give it to Robert Duvall, he gave a great (literally crappy) performance (go see 'The Judge').

"ACTRESS IN LEADING ROLE"

Julianne Moore!! or Felicity Jones!!... it's really anyone's guess.

"ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE"

Tough one... on the one hand Eddie Redmayne does a wonderful Stephen Hawking, although, isn't it kind of easier to play a guy with a disability? Plus, a lot of the acting is by the computer (ok, not funny). On the other hand there's Benedict Cumberbatch who does cry a whole lot in his movie. Knowing americans and their sometimes annoying patriotism Bradley Cooper has as good a chance as anyone, and he is really good. This is I think the most competitive category... if Leo DiCaprio was in it at least we would know who would lose. I am however going to go with the amazing performance of Batman!.. I mean Birdman!.. I mean Michael Keaton!! 

"BEST DIRECTOR"

It might go to Richard Linklater and it may be the one category in which 'Boyhood' deserves an Oscar. But screw that, Alejandro González Iñárritu!!

"BEST PICTURE"

There are some good competitors in this one, despite the fact that 'Interstellar' was snubbed (seriously members of the academy, if all you want to see is true stories and tearjerkers go watch the news and stay away from the movie theaters). I think 'Boyhood' (more like 'BOREhood') and 'Birdman' are the strong ones... but... I'm going to go with a hunch on this one... the Oscar goes to "American Sniper"!!

If all my predictions are right, I won't see the need to address it. If not, I will surely be ranting about it next week. Until then...

How I ruined your favorite show...

by Alex Zavala (@alekdome)

Kids (I mean readers), in august 2012 I started watching a Sit-com that I consider one of the best written television series I've seen. A month later, when Season 8 started, I had already seen the complete previous seven seasons of "How I met your mother". That's how good this show was.

Sure, it had its details, like having 80% of story lines taken right out of "Friends". Or it having one hell of a lot of coincidences.

But all in all, it was really funny, entertaining, and incredibly consistent. The tinniest detail in Season 1 would be acknowledged nine years later, and that is something not a lot of shows can brag about... Ask Judy Greer playing two different characters in "Two and a Half Men" or the parents in "The O.C." having their 20th anniversary the year after their 17th. 

Anyway... the show went on getting people's expectations really high, but not high enough that they could only disappoint. For nine years it was shaping up to be one of the best and most remembered comedies. It was legen...wait for it... DARY!!!.............. until the penultimate episode of course. Because then came 'THE HORROR'....

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

That's right... the series finale not only sucked, it was infuriating!!! Forget about the fact that the mom dies.. (I warned you about the spoilers) you could see that coming from previous episodes, and if done right, I could've been a good twist. But everything else was just a huge slap in the face to this show's fans.

After the greatest proposal EVER, it took an entire season to establish the scene of Robin and Barney's wedding, tying all lose ends, making every character be at peace with it (we'll come back to that one) and having indeed the much awaited 'ring BEARer'. That was a great ending. Ted should've just met the mother at the end of that episode and forget all about a finale. Why?, because 5 minutes into it, all of that is undone, thrown in the toilet, crapped all over. Sure, lets take a year showing what happened in a couple of days, but then recap 5 years in ten seconds. All of that growth, progress, happiness, etc., so that Barney and Robin get divorced right away, and I mean right away. Here's a great tweet I found about it:

#himym #HIMYMFinale You travel so much that you don’t have time for Barney but you have 5 dogs?????!!!

— BattleCityZero (@BattleCityZero) April 1, 2014

If there is one thing that had started to annoy me during Season 9 was the amount of episodes in which Ted finally let go of Robin. How many times must you do it?, we get it, he's over it!..... well...... apparently not. Maybe five years early, everyone wanted them to end up together, but by the end literally NO ONE did. Because they worked so hard and put so much effort into getting everyone (including Ted) excited about Barney and Robin. And in the end.... nope.. we were just messing with you.. they do end up together in the most random and stupid way. It's even worse that they went through all that effort knowing the outcome, because the 'kids' were taped encouraging Ted to go for it, what? ten years ago??

The cherry on top of the cake was Ted's grown up Bob Saget voice suddenly changing back and him and Robin looking exactly the same fifteen years later.... they pulled a 'Harry Potter' on us. 

That night, someone tweeted something that exactly described what I and surely many others were feeling. I quote:

"The HIMYM finale was like finding out your favorite love song was written about a sandwich".

FUCK I'm still so mad!!