Oscar predictions...

by Alex Zavala
(@alekdome)

This sunday is the 87th Academy Awards Ceremony... and while it is not as high profile as last year's, it still has potential. Let me begin by predicting Neil Patrick Harris will make an awesome host, which should be no surprise since they've gotten that right almost every year.

Other things they do get wrong..... specially when it comes to nominations. But I'm not going to go deep into it, I'm only saying three things before I go straight to my predictions:

1. "Best Director" is often given to the best movie, which is stupid, because there is an award for that already. You can make a terrible movie and still direct it wonderfully and revolutionarily. So yes, James Cameron should've won for 'Avatar'... and yes, Chris Nolan should be nominated this year, and should've won a long time ago.

2. I don't know what all the fuzz is about with Steve Carell's performance in 'Foxcatcher'. True, I never heard of John du Pont before the movie, so I don't know, maybe he does act exactly like him... but to me, the whole movie looks like he's trying super hard not to drop his fake nose, hence the stiffness and lack of expression. Again, I've never seen the real person speak, so maybe I'm wrong about this one.

3. If 'Boyhood' wins.... crap... that will be awful. Does it have it's merit to film a movie throughout 12 years?... sure. Maybe that's a "Best Director" kind of merit..... but you cannot give "Best Picture" to a film they took the time to shoot in 12 years but not to edit. Seriously, it is SO long, and absolutely NOTHING happens. Really, NOTHING.

Okay, enough said... here are my predictions for only some of the categories (I am not going to bother with "Best animated short foreign language documentary").

"ANIMATED FEATURE FILM"

And the winner is 'The Lego Movie'!!... oh wait...... it wasn't nominated...ass holes..... ehh.. I didn't see any of the actual nominees.

"MAKE-UP AND HAIRSTYLING"

Not a super major category, but... 'Guardians of the galaxy'!!... because no 'Foxcatcher', you shouldn't win an Oscar for a stupid fake nose.

"VISUAL EFFECTS"

There is no way around it... sure, they needed to have some nominees, but the Oscar goes to.. 'Dawn of the Planet of the Apes'!!.. seriously, if not, I am personally sending a chimp with a machine gun to kill the members of the Academy.

"ORIGINAL SCORE"

The winner is Hans Zimmer for 'Interstellar'!! ... if you're not giving any credit to this GREAT movie... at least honor its great music.

"ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY"

 'Birdman'!! .... which other is as amazingly creative??.......... wait....... was there an actual screenplay for Boyhood?.... I bet it was a million blank pages.

"ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE"

As sad as it makes me, I believe they're going to give it to Patricia Arquette!! for going fat and losing hair throughout twelve years.

"ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE"

One can only assume it is J.K. Simmons!! .. I haven't seen 'Whiplash' yet, but they are just giving him everything. I wish though, they would give it to Robert Duvall, he gave a great (literally crappy) performance (go see 'The Judge').

"ACTRESS IN LEADING ROLE"

Julianne Moore!! or Felicity Jones!!... it's really anyone's guess.

"ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE"

Tough one... on the one hand Eddie Redmayne does a wonderful Stephen Hawking, although, isn't it kind of easier to play a guy with a disability? Plus, a lot of the acting is by the computer (ok, not funny). On the other hand there's Benedict Cumberbatch who does cry a whole lot in his movie. Knowing americans and their sometimes annoying patriotism Bradley Cooper has as good a chance as anyone, and he is really good. This is I think the most competitive category... if Leo DiCaprio was in it at least we would know who would lose. I am however going to go with the amazing performance of Batman!.. I mean Birdman!.. I mean Michael Keaton!! 

"BEST DIRECTOR"

It might go to Richard Linklater and it may be the one category in which 'Boyhood' deserves an Oscar. But screw that, Alejandro González Iñárritu!!

"BEST PICTURE"

There are some good competitors in this one, despite the fact that 'Interstellar' was snubbed (seriously members of the academy, if all you want to see is true stories and tearjerkers go watch the news and stay away from the movie theaters). I think 'Boyhood' (more like 'BOREhood') and 'Birdman' are the strong ones... but... I'm going to go with a hunch on this one... the Oscar goes to "American Sniper"!!

If all my predictions are right, I won't see the need to address it. If not, I will surely be ranting about it next week. Until then...

How I ruined your favorite show...

by Alex Zavala (@alekdome)

Kids (I mean readers), in august 2012 I started watching a Sit-com that I consider one of the best written television series I've seen. A month later, when Season 8 started, I had already seen the complete previous seven seasons of "How I met your mother". That's how good this show was.

Sure, it had its details, like having 80% of story lines taken right out of "Friends". Or it having one hell of a lot of coincidences.

But all in all, it was really funny, entertaining, and incredibly consistent. The tinniest detail in Season 1 would be acknowledged nine years later, and that is something not a lot of shows can brag about... Ask Judy Greer playing two different characters in "Two and a Half Men" or the parents in "The O.C." having their 20th anniversary the year after their 17th. 

Anyway... the show went on getting people's expectations really high, but not high enough that they could only disappoint. For nine years it was shaping up to be one of the best and most remembered comedies. It was legen...wait for it... DARY!!!.............. until the penultimate episode of course. Because then came 'THE HORROR'....

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

That's right... the series finale not only sucked, it was infuriating!!! Forget about the fact that the mom dies.. (I warned you about the spoilers) you could see that coming from previous episodes, and if done right, I could've been a good twist. But everything else was just a huge slap in the face to this show's fans.

After the greatest proposal EVER, it took an entire season to establish the scene of Robin and Barney's wedding, tying all lose ends, making every character be at peace with it (we'll come back to that one) and having indeed the much awaited 'ring BEARer'. That was a great ending. Ted should've just met the mother at the end of that episode and forget all about a finale. Why?, because 5 minutes into it, all of that is undone, thrown in the toilet, crapped all over. Sure, lets take a year showing what happened in a couple of days, but then recap 5 years in ten seconds. All of that growth, progress, happiness, etc., so that Barney and Robin get divorced right away, and I mean right away. Here's a great tweet I found about it:

#himym #HIMYMFinale You travel so much that you don’t have time for Barney but you have 5 dogs?????!!!

— BattleCityZero (@BattleCityZero) April 1, 2014

If there is one thing that had started to annoy me during Season 9 was the amount of episodes in which Ted finally let go of Robin. How many times must you do it?, we get it, he's over it!..... well...... apparently not. Maybe five years early, everyone wanted them to end up together, but by the end literally NO ONE did. Because they worked so hard and put so much effort into getting everyone (including Ted) excited about Barney and Robin. And in the end.... nope.. we were just messing with you.. they do end up together in the most random and stupid way. It's even worse that they went through all that effort knowing the outcome, because the 'kids' were taped encouraging Ted to go for it, what? ten years ago??

The cherry on top of the cake was Ted's grown up Bob Saget voice suddenly changing back and him and Robin looking exactly the same fifteen years later.... they pulled a 'Harry Potter' on us. 

That night, someone tweeted something that exactly described what I and surely many others were feeling. I quote:

"The HIMYM finale was like finding out your favorite love song was written about a sandwich".

FUCK I'm still so mad!!

The Park is (almost) Open...

by Alex Zavala (@alekdome)

So, it's been a couple of years since we have been teased with information about a confirmed new Jurassic Park installment... this is the year it FINALLY comes out.

Some weeks ago the first trailer came out and last weekend a Superbowl spot did as well. They are both thrilling and exciting, but... I just don't know how to feel about them.

Before I say any more, let me make clear that "Jurassic Park" is one of the greatest movies of all time and just like the already existing sequels, this movie stands no chance of getting anywhere close to it. That being said, it could still be a pretty good movie IF done right. Needless to say that the history of '4th parts' isn't exactly on it's side...

Hell... as long as it's better than "Jurassic Park III", the wait will have been worth it.

With the spooky music and wreckage footage, the trailers do make it seem very interesting. The fact that it's actually an amusement park that functions and has all that people in there is quite promising. I also like that it isn't poor Alan Grant or Ian Malcolm going back yet again, like they weren't traumatized enough (although some cameos would be nice).

But a few things have me a little scared. Starting with the fact that this dinosaur:

Looks WAY more realistic than this one:

And they are what?, 22 years apart?.... Crappy CGI or too much CGI are the cancer of recent movies. Ask "The Revenge of the Sith".

Another thing that concerns me is all this about the 'big menace' being a genetically modified new dinosaur. Weren't they already engineered creatures that couldn't possibly be controlled, because their behavior in the modern era couldn't possibly be predicted???? .. wasn't that the whole point??? Now they're going to make them look like tamed zoo animals, so that this new beast is more threatening?.... doesn't sound very appealing to me.

But who knows, that part of the story could still be pulled off. What REALLY makes me uncomfortable, and what actually makes me think "Jurassic World" could suck is this:

Everyone knows that the true villain (other than greedy humans) is not the T-Rex or the Spinosaurus... it is the raptors. They are smart (-clever girl-), sneaky and super scary, so if it turns out that we are teaming up with them, and they are now our friends, I'm going to throw my popcorn at the screen. 

WHEN has it ever worked out for the good guy to team up with the bad guy to defeat a bigger bad guy??... NEVER!! That's how we end up with things like "Spider-Man 3". Those velociraptors better betray Chris Pratt and chase the crap out of him in the end... or people (at least me) will be very upset.

Aside from those concerns, and knowing that disappointment is a possibility, I am still crazy excited about this movie, and cannot wait until June 12th. What do you think??